Aaah. it's fun laughing at some people. This Malema joke made my day.
Julius: Hello I would like to order some guns.
The gunsmith replies: What? The line is bad.
Julius: Guns! (getting louder)
Gunsmith: Sorry I can hardly hear, please repeat!
Julius: (very loud now) GUNS!! G 4 jesus, U 4 europe, N 4 anything and S 4 eskom...Guns idiot!!
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Random Week
At this moment, I am multi-tasking "Supernatural" with updating my blog. Don't worry. I'm a woman. I can do this. On some days I can even drive and chew gum simultaneously. A real shocker, I know.
Wait...Dean is about to take his shirt off... Hmmm. Yums.
As I was about to say, the last week has been an interesting-happy-sad-mad-hectic-fun-busy-thoughtprovoking one.
Interesting and thought provoking because I've been keeping my eye on the news and Idiot Malema's Twitter page. I'm getting a niggly suspicion that there is a group of political assholes who would love to become the oligarchy of the country. Except instead of being distinguished by royalty, wealth and family ties, this oligarchy would be distinguished by greed, corruption, lies and misinformation. I suspect too, that this particular group of political assholes would love to cuff and chain anyone who dares utter a word of disrespect against them, in particular, limiting our rights to free speech. Have a read of these articles, which are only two of many showing up in the news of late - http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/south-africa/100824/press-freedom-under-threat and http://www.mg.co.za/article/2010-08-12-sas-pressfreedom-debate-goes-global
(Breaking for a moment to watch Sam get down and dirty with some hot babe. Hmmm. Milkybar and Cinnamon.)
I've been very happy, interspersed with some immensly sad moments. No, I am not certifiable. Nor am I on any prescription medication. Like the customised Ouroboros I have inked on my wrist, I am facing yet another new beginning in my life. I wonder if this time I'll emerge as a butterfly... I'm really not a moth kind of girl.
The mad-hectic-busy part of my week relates to this being my final week as part of the Avusa group. I consult for the month of November, and then who knows where I'll end up. It's bound to be another exciting rollercoaster ride.
...OMG. There are TWO Deans!...
Oh, yes, fun. I've been getting out a bit and meeting some really cool people. For me it's quite unusual to meet real people, strange as that may sound. I meet people online all day, and often socialise for work. The people are rarely real. I do wonder how it is coming back home has changed that part of my life. I used to meet real people in London quite often. I suspect this lack of meeting real people may have something to do with having enforced hermitism on myself, working 12 hour days and chasing that next step up the corporate ladder. It left little time for real things on purpose. But that was then. This is now! I'm happy, laughing, smiling and free-spirited. I still have my freak-out crazy moments, of course, but they're part of my charm.
Before I leave you, I'd like to recommend you watch The Boat That Rocked. If you love music (any kind of music) and laughing, this is a great movie!
And that, dear readers, is me for the night. The Supernatural boys have just said goodbye to me too. Sigh.
Buenas noches mis amores.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Jay-Z and The Stoned Lovers
If I were to write lyrics for a song, they'd go something like this...
"Burning desires.
There's no inhibition.
Music inspires.
Pulsing beats, hard lyrics.
Smoky looks, breathless, senses on fire.
Joined by the rhythm.
Taking souls up high then higher.
No hesitation.
Passion all consuming.
Pure sensation.
Racing hearts, shared breath.
Hot skin, slick, fever runs wild.
Bound to the moment.
Two beings all parts beguiled.
Stoned lovers law.
Eyes for no other.
Bodies they swore."
Maybe I missed my calling as a lyricist? ...I best copyright these lyrics and get them sold, soonest!
"Burning desires.
There's no inhibition.
Music inspires.
Pulsing beats, hard lyrics.
Smoky looks, breathless, senses on fire.
Joined by the rhythm.
Taking souls up high then higher.
No hesitation.
Passion all consuming.
Pure sensation.
Racing hearts, shared breath.
Hot skin, slick, fever runs wild.
Bound to the moment.
Two beings all parts beguiled.
Stoned lovers law.
Eyes for no other.
Bodies they swore."
Maybe I missed my calling as a lyricist? ...I best copyright these lyrics and get them sold, soonest!
Friday, October 15, 2010
Milkybar and Cinnamon
Who knows what tomorrow will bring... Here's me, living in the now.
Sonnet 22
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
When our two souls stand up erect and strong,
Face to face, silent, drawing nigh and nigher,
Until the lengthening wings break into fire
At either curvèd point,—what bitter wrong
Can the earth do to us, that we should not long
Be here contented? Think. In mounting higher,
The angels would press on us and aspire
To drop some golden orb of perfect song
Into our deep, dear silence. Let us stay
Rather on earth, Belovèd,—where the unfit
Contrarious moods of men recoil away
And isolate pure spirits, and permit
A place to stand and love in for a day,
With darkness and the death-hour rounding it.
Sonnet 22
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
When our two souls stand up erect and strong,
Face to face, silent, drawing nigh and nigher,
Until the lengthening wings break into fire
At either curvèd point,—what bitter wrong
Can the earth do to us, that we should not long
Be here contented? Think. In mounting higher,
The angels would press on us and aspire
To drop some golden orb of perfect song
Into our deep, dear silence. Let us stay
Rather on earth, Belovèd,—where the unfit
Contrarious moods of men recoil away
And isolate pure spirits, and permit
A place to stand and love in for a day,
With darkness and the death-hour rounding it.
Monday, October 11, 2010
A Moment in the Mind of Me
“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.” - Paulo Coelho
Destiny means a predetermined course of events. Destiny is a concept based on the belief that there is a fixed natural order to the cosmos. There’s the old argument to this that goes something along the lines of, “Then why bother?”. I’ve also heard the question, “Whatsa cosmos?”, to which I replied, “the plural for cosmo, made with vodka, triple sec, lime cordial and cranberry juice”.
Though I may not be able to agree with the official meaning of the word “destiny”, I would like to believe that the fixed natural order of the cosmos is largely one of goodness, positivity and happiness, for all mankind. I have great belief in the power of positive thought. Positive thoughts convert into positive feelings, which in turn become positive action. I am, however, only human (occasionally superhuman).
As a human, I sometimes lose my way. Without noticing it, I’ve become surrounded by the most amazing people. I attribute meeting these people to positive thought. It has been these amazing people who have helped get me back on track when I do lose my direction. They listen, advise, brainstorm with me or laugh at me. They are the family I have chosen and they help keep me sane and balanced.
I had a point to all this. What was it?! Hmmm… Ah yes! My life at the moment is proving particular challenging. My courage and willingness to change are being tested. Though I feel ready for the challenge, I occasionally have doubts about the decisions I’m making.
Here’s where I get human, and lost… Am I seeing the real challenges or subconsciously choosing challenges that won’t cause conflict and hurt someone? Am I interpreting my messages from the universe correctly? If I get this wrong, I worry that I’ll be screwed. We’re not talking “which colour shoes should I wear today, universe?”, where at worst I’d get some funny looks and chuckles for getting it wrong. We’re talking serious, life changing decisions.
I may have figured out an answer to these questions I ask myself: If I open my mind enough to hear, I will interpret my universal messages clearly. I know I’m on the right path when I can look inside myself and not lie to the “me” shining inside. When I can be completely at ease and happy about the choices I’ve made and the way I’ve responded to the challenges presented to me, then I am doing something right.
It makes sense, doesn’t it? I figured it out after spending some time with a friend of mine, who I seem to share a telepathic link with. (We also share a love of parrots.)
As for destiny, I think my destiny might be ever-changing, dependant on my state of mind. I know my state of mind determines the type of energies I attract towards myself at particular moments in my life. Hence state of mind influences destiny? I believe there’s some truth to that.
I believe we all have the power to influence our ‘”predetermined future”. Nothing is written in stone except for birth and death. Every minute in between is yours to live a good life. I used to think I didn’t deserve a good life, and that bad things happened to me because I deserved them. Lately I realise that my Creator has only ever wanted the best life for me, and all I have to do is open myself up to it and believe. It’s that simple.
I find myself occasionally preparing to fill my newly freed positive spaces with old negativities. It seems my current state of mind is here to stay, and talks me out of riddling myself with all that old baggage. My friend family helps keep the demons at bay too.
It’s only recently I’ve become quite so “grown-up”. I was a wild child until just three years ago, living life by sheer emotion. I was indignant…fiery… passionate…reckless…wild. It’s still there, lurking just below the surface. It’ll always be a part of me. I’ve learnt to channel those energies or risk spontaneous combustion.
Some days it would seem that I have fully evolved into a woman of substance. How bizarre!
The Paulo Coelho quote I referenced at the beginning of writing this post is one that resonates with me and where I’m at in my life right now. I will love who I am, with all my imperfections and contradictions. I’m going to face my challenges with courage. I am ready. I will only look to the past to remind myself of the lessons I have learnt. I will keep moving forward. I will love the people that come into my life, for however long they are there, knowing that they are with me in the now, and remembering that tomorrow may never come.
Destiny means a predetermined course of events. Destiny is a concept based on the belief that there is a fixed natural order to the cosmos. There’s the old argument to this that goes something along the lines of, “Then why bother?”. I’ve also heard the question, “Whatsa cosmos?”, to which I replied, “the plural for cosmo, made with vodka, triple sec, lime cordial and cranberry juice”.
Though I may not be able to agree with the official meaning of the word “destiny”, I would like to believe that the fixed natural order of the cosmos is largely one of goodness, positivity and happiness, for all mankind. I have great belief in the power of positive thought. Positive thoughts convert into positive feelings, which in turn become positive action. I am, however, only human (occasionally superhuman).
As a human, I sometimes lose my way. Without noticing it, I’ve become surrounded by the most amazing people. I attribute meeting these people to positive thought. It has been these amazing people who have helped get me back on track when I do lose my direction. They listen, advise, brainstorm with me or laugh at me. They are the family I have chosen and they help keep me sane and balanced.
I had a point to all this. What was it?! Hmmm… Ah yes! My life at the moment is proving particular challenging. My courage and willingness to change are being tested. Though I feel ready for the challenge, I occasionally have doubts about the decisions I’m making.
Here’s where I get human, and lost… Am I seeing the real challenges or subconsciously choosing challenges that won’t cause conflict and hurt someone? Am I interpreting my messages from the universe correctly? If I get this wrong, I worry that I’ll be screwed. We’re not talking “which colour shoes should I wear today, universe?”, where at worst I’d get some funny looks and chuckles for getting it wrong. We’re talking serious, life changing decisions.
I may have figured out an answer to these questions I ask myself: If I open my mind enough to hear, I will interpret my universal messages clearly. I know I’m on the right path when I can look inside myself and not lie to the “me” shining inside. When I can be completely at ease and happy about the choices I’ve made and the way I’ve responded to the challenges presented to me, then I am doing something right.
It makes sense, doesn’t it? I figured it out after spending some time with a friend of mine, who I seem to share a telepathic link with. (We also share a love of parrots.)
As for destiny, I think my destiny might be ever-changing, dependant on my state of mind. I know my state of mind determines the type of energies I attract towards myself at particular moments in my life. Hence state of mind influences destiny? I believe there’s some truth to that.
I believe we all have the power to influence our ‘”predetermined future”. Nothing is written in stone except for birth and death. Every minute in between is yours to live a good life. I used to think I didn’t deserve a good life, and that bad things happened to me because I deserved them. Lately I realise that my Creator has only ever wanted the best life for me, and all I have to do is open myself up to it and believe. It’s that simple.
I find myself occasionally preparing to fill my newly freed positive spaces with old negativities. It seems my current state of mind is here to stay, and talks me out of riddling myself with all that old baggage. My friend family helps keep the demons at bay too.
It’s only recently I’ve become quite so “grown-up”. I was a wild child until just three years ago, living life by sheer emotion. I was indignant…fiery… passionate…reckless…wild. It’s still there, lurking just below the surface. It’ll always be a part of me. I’ve learnt to channel those energies or risk spontaneous combustion.
Some days it would seem that I have fully evolved into a woman of substance. How bizarre!
The Paulo Coelho quote I referenced at the beginning of writing this post is one that resonates with me and where I’m at in my life right now. I will love who I am, with all my imperfections and contradictions. I’m going to face my challenges with courage. I am ready. I will only look to the past to remind myself of the lessons I have learnt. I will keep moving forward. I will love the people that come into my life, for however long they are there, knowing that they are with me in the now, and remembering that tomorrow may never come.
London Days - Helga from Hell (Written for Helium)
Ah. The Brazilian Wax. Well, where do I start? My first trip on the wild side was at the hands of Helga,
the Brazilian Waxer from Hell. She was 6ft tall with what must have been a 48ZZ bust line and a lip so hairy she actually had a full blown tash! The only other time I yelped and moaned as much was during childbirth without an epidural. I left her waxing table thoroughly bruised but sadly there was nothing pleasant about the experience. The salon has since asked Helga politely (but firmly) to leave and it goes without saying that I have not re-visited that particular establishment.
The concept of a Brazilian wax is, much like the majority of Brazilians themselves, a very appealing and sexy one. To me the idea of having smooth and (mostly) hair free nether regions is a very alluring one. I love the feel of delicate material against smooth skin and when it comes to 'playtime', nothing comes close to the sensations created on freshly waxed, smooth, naked skin.
So, all in all, the Brazilian wax is a must-have in my book. The trick, however, is making sure you find the right beautician. Check qualifications and prices too, as these can give you a good indication of the quality of the treatment. Guaranteed, the lower the price, the poorer the quality of the 'wax job'. There is nothing worse than leaving the salon thinking you're completely hair free...only to discover (normally at the most inopportune moment, like when you're strolling along the beach in your new itsy, bitsy bikini) that your beautician has neglected to remove a few nasty little hairs in a most unfortunate area. And because the rest of you is so completely naked, it makes those few hairs that much more pronounced.
Other things to make sure of is that the wax is not to hot and that your beautician ensures your skin is pulled taut before removing the wax pull your skin taut. Here's another tip, before laying there with your bottom thrust ungraciously into the air, make sure you've been to the little girls room. There is nothing worse than having to jump off the waxing table mid-wax for a wee, only to return to your beautician with little bits of paper stuck to all your waxy bits. And finally, don't kid yourself into thinking this is not going to hurt. It will! For the record, trimming slightly before your wax may make it hurt less but then you're highly likely to end up with ingrown hairs as the shorter the hair, the more difficult it is to remove.
A skilled beautician should tell you all this it and shouldn't be as painful as my Helga experience with someone who knows their way around a bikini wax. With time it becomes easier and less painful and you'll find you need to tidy up less often. Once its all over, you'll love the feel of it. I promise!
Sometimes suffering a little for beauty can be worth it!
the Brazilian Waxer from Hell. She was 6ft tall with what must have been a 48ZZ bust line and a lip so hairy she actually had a full blown tash! The only other time I yelped and moaned as much was during childbirth without an epidural. I left her waxing table thoroughly bruised but sadly there was nothing pleasant about the experience. The salon has since asked Helga politely (but firmly) to leave and it goes without saying that I have not re-visited that particular establishment.
The concept of a Brazilian wax is, much like the majority of Brazilians themselves, a very appealing and sexy one. To me the idea of having smooth and (mostly) hair free nether regions is a very alluring one. I love the feel of delicate material against smooth skin and when it comes to 'playtime', nothing comes close to the sensations created on freshly waxed, smooth, naked skin.
So, all in all, the Brazilian wax is a must-have in my book. The trick, however, is making sure you find the right beautician. Check qualifications and prices too, as these can give you a good indication of the quality of the treatment. Guaranteed, the lower the price, the poorer the quality of the 'wax job'. There is nothing worse than leaving the salon thinking you're completely hair free...only to discover (normally at the most inopportune moment, like when you're strolling along the beach in your new itsy, bitsy bikini) that your beautician has neglected to remove a few nasty little hairs in a most unfortunate area. And because the rest of you is so completely naked, it makes those few hairs that much more pronounced.
Other things to make sure of is that the wax is not to hot and that your beautician ensures your skin is pulled taut before removing the wax pull your skin taut. Here's another tip, before laying there with your bottom thrust ungraciously into the air, make sure you've been to the little girls room. There is nothing worse than having to jump off the waxing table mid-wax for a wee, only to return to your beautician with little bits of paper stuck to all your waxy bits. And finally, don't kid yourself into thinking this is not going to hurt. It will! For the record, trimming slightly before your wax may make it hurt less but then you're highly likely to end up with ingrown hairs as the shorter the hair, the more difficult it is to remove.
A skilled beautician should tell you all this it and shouldn't be as painful as my Helga experience with someone who knows their way around a bikini wax. With time it becomes easier and less painful and you'll find you need to tidy up less often. Once its all over, you'll love the feel of it. I promise!
Sometimes suffering a little for beauty can be worth it!
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